Tree image

The fragility of the mind...

Tutorial help

After discussing different ideas with my tutor, I am interested in working on different surfaces - mainly reflective/transparent surfaces, e.g mirrors, glass, mosaic, tracing paper etc. Looking at the idea of creating sensory elements for the audience, the work is personal to me but I want the audience to connect with the work and feel as if they are experiencing something of their own. Lost in the unconscious...

I have the idea to work onto mirrored surfaces, covering/painting/morphing the reflective surface but leaving some areas exposed so that a reflection can be seen - seeing through the piece, not sure what is being witnessed, levels/layers etc. I want to work on how I can do this, plan out what I need to do to create this effect - rather than just trying to do everything at once.
Mirror boards...
Visual illusions...
Even looking at projections of photography.
The projection of imagery also draws my attention to lighting when considering an installation.

Surrealism?
Sensory?

After having a confusing time I am planning to explore another area a lot more in my development of work. i want to have a look at my photography a lot more - experiment with different ways to display/present and create an installation with the works. In particular, looking at transparency.

My paintings were interesting and good for letting out emotions in relation to my unconscious but they were not very useful in helping me to communicate with my audience...I do really like the effects they create, the markings and writing is something I really love about them as they are so personal that it makes me truly connect with my work and feel emotions have been purged. However, the pieces are almost too "solid" when trying to portray a level of the unconscious. The unconscious is a separate layer to the mind from the conscious mind and the thick boards seemed to not show such a fragile concept of the unconscious mind's thoughts/ memories and desires. During a group tutorial, the group understood some of the concepts I wanted to put across but these were only on a surface level e.g the writing written in the paint, thickness of the oils, markings/textures etc. All features pointed to an expressive piece but it was not progressive. It didn't show anything new. Maybe it would have been interesting to create smaller ones...however the size was relevant at the time and the pieces are not all lost - they will show their use in time.

I am trying not to feel really bad about my work, I feel like all the pieces I try so hard to do are just all useless. So far most of my paintings have not worked out how i want them to...I wonder whether I am working in the right direction at all. I keep trying to remind myself that it is all a development process but I guess often it just feels like my work is not very good at all or coming to together as anything. I will keep trying, the more I experiment the better it will get...hopefully.

It's all a case of experimentation so if I have progressed more through experimentation then it can only be a real gurd thing :) Just need to catch up on documentation...need to get a new book!

8/11

I mainly spent the day deciding what I wanted to do for my following pieces. I was going to work on my second painting but as the first layers weren't dry yet I decided against it - I wanted them to be more concealed/dry so the texture would still remain when I added more paint to it.
I did some sketchbook work such as working on artist research and updating my notes - also I worked on my Collective Writing book by just adding a few extra pictures, some writing and doing a small amount of stitching. I decided that I did like the idea of using some stitching in my work but I don't want to use it too often - I think a subtle amount will look good but I don't want a book full of threads! I think it looks too cliche' so I will use it sparingly and to sew in images or just to work on fabric a little.

My plan for tomorrow is to create small installations with the fragments of items I have - I want to use my "CD collections" to create a mini piece on the wall. This is just an idea to begin with to get the ball rolling for more pieces. I want to use the following items: bottles (alcohol containers) which I will use both as items and as holders for smaller things, pages from books, natural items, items of clothing. I plan to create small installations/photography pieces using these items - just trying out ideas and compositions. If the pieces don't turn out so well then I will use them as demo pieces and probably include them as photographs in other pieces. I have fabrics that I have dyed that I will use as floor pieces or backgrounds for my installations - also previous paintings that didn't work out as well as I wanted. All pieces will be used as development as the project is about the unconscious then the progress of the work is important to show the stages of my mentality.

07/11

Today I worked on my second large painting - I began with using a bright blue colour straight from the tube (oils). I found this painting to be quite meloncholy even though it was so vibrant the colours I used I associate with solemn feelings and memories. I normally use paint brushes/tools to paint with but this time I found myself wanting to use myself in the painting. I used my hands to smear paint (using latex gloves as the paint stains really badly and also I didn't want fingerprints to show up and ruin the texture). The process of painting with my hands was really strange - it was really enjoyable to do but also I felt repulsed by how the paint rolled over my hands and how it was smeared around the piece. I found it interesting how I had mixed feelings while doing this piece - the expression I wanted to portray with the piece mixed in with the method I was using.
I smeared the blue paint around mainly in swirls around the piece, covering over all the primed service. Once I had created the desired consistency on the surface I let it dry and conceal slightly. Then I used some purple paint and did the same swirled pattern on top but I mixed in some sand particles to create a textured effect. The colours blended slightly so the entire piece became a luminous royal blue - I think this really complimented the other large piece I had done.

Next stages of my practice

For the next few days I have developed an ideal plan (realistically) for what I want to achieve.
Firstly, Painting - I want to develop my next painting tomorrow, even just the first few layers so I can get a feel for the next piece. Plus the painting techniques really help me to get an insight to my unconscious and help me to release my emotions into my work more freely - partially because it's abstract and, of course, expressive.

Installations - I want to have created a few designs by using photographs of my painting(s) and deciding what items I have associations with - this is mainly to get an idea on what I can include for my larger installations.
For the smaller/temporary ones, I want to have a few designed pieces and some practice installations using some of the items I have listed previously. This will be worked on mostly on thursday/friday while I will use tomorrow to collect the items I have at hand but mainly to record what it is I need to make my installations.

Photography - I will review all the pieces I have so far and decide which I can use as independant pieces/ as part of installations and which ones I can scrap (although all failed attempts will still be documented). I want to know by this weekend what pieces to work on next.

Overall so I don't become too overwhelmed - my main focus this week is gathering installation items to make small/practice attempts with and to work on my next painting.
As the installations will be documented the photography will coincide with that and fit in naturally.